Social panorama diagnostic patterns:

Description
Grace is married, 40, with two children aging 5 and 10. Her husband has to regularly stay away for several days a week. This caused her strong emotional outburst. She says that she is afraid to lose him. She feels panic, emptiness inside, what she calls internal death, when he is gone. She forced him to call her three times daily. When he does not comply, she is very angry at him.
Her goal is to become more independent and self sufficient.


Therapeutic process

This case can be described as deep change work on the personality level. However, it took only a two hour session to get a convincing result. Since this client had worked with me before, on other complaints four years ago, in which one session also had proved to be sufficient for solving her aggressive impulses, it was relatively easy for her to accept that such a change was possible within a short time.

The complaints were clearly related to the relationship with her husband. So his location was investigated. This proved difficult at first. The reason for this was his double representation. His personification was located in two different places:

1) Within her belly, where he took a considerable place,
2) About 10 metres away (‘too far away’), straight in front of her.

This meant we had to deal with two social panorama problem patterns: bi-location and shared location.
We started to investigate the kind of resistance that was aroused by removing the personification of her husband out of her belly and to a location beside her.

‘What is against that?’

After a complex search she discovered that to her, having the other inside you, represented‘real love’. She also mentioned that her parents had also suffered from strong emotional dependence. When one of them was gone for a while, the other found this unbearable. So we had to conclude, that she was raised with an example of emotional dependence.

Her father, she said, was to her knowledge, the invnventor of this pattern in his marriage. When asked, she believed her father lacked the resource of self security: a kind of self confidence. This brought me to investigate Grace’s self representation, to check whether she was fit to produce the right resource. This in order to transfer it later to her father in his childhood. So we explored her self experience in the here and now.

Grace had her feeling of self in her head, and saw the accompanying self image at three metres straight in front. However, when it was drawn closer, it caused negative feelings. So I had to conclude she had a negative self image at work. This made it necessary to construct a positive one. The classical procedure, for creating positive self-images worked smoothly.

This method, consist of having the client find the image of a person they admire. Ancor that feeling and apply this feeling of self admiration on themselves. It took a while before she had created a stable positive self image. The positive emotional impact was visible from the outside: a straight back and a confident smile. When she had constructed a state of ‘self admiration’ we could solidify this by giving her trans-generational support behind her. I asked her to imagine all her ancestors from her fathers side (excluding her father) behind her, and to hear and feel them supporting her. We took some time to combined the positive self image and the ancestral support. This was anchored to the colour red.

Now we could check whether this consisted of the ingredients that her father had needed to have the resource self security. She believed this came close, so we tried to use it. She went back in time to meet her father as a baby. It proved easy to transfer self security to him that young. She watched him grow up with self security until he met her mother for the first time. Than we spend considerable time to construct an image of these two people loving one another, without becoming pathological dependant.
Now she reconstructed the family history, by imagining the birth of her four older siblings. When it was time for her to be conceived, she imagined to be in her mothers womb and experience her father with self security somewhere OUT there.

This process went smoothly, and I asked her to stop growing up at four years. And I assisted her to take in the self security (positive self image and ancestral support) at that age. She managed easely. And, when this was done, she grew up until the here and now.

This made it possible to check the results.

It was clear that the bi-location of the husband was united. He now also could stay beside her. It took some fine tuning of beliefs about love, to make this husband-position solid. It was necessary to redo the family a little. Her oldest daughter was from another father. Initially this daughter had looked sideways. Now she stared at her mother. Her biological father was also brought into the image.

We double checked the result for ecology and had to conclude, that it was very promising.Maybe she will be back in four years time with something else?

 

 

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I am afraid of losing my husband